Our Story - Year One

The following is an excerpt from the highly acclaimed and many times controversial, "Jennifer: The Best thing that every happened to me" by Jon 'vislor' Goranson, Volume 13, Chapter 14, The Early Years:

It was early fall when I returned to Ames once again for more schooling. I had just an okay summer. Working for my father was okay, but there were many times this summer that I thought I should have done something else. Many times I kept wishing for school, just to give myself a break from work. That was not to be.

I had moved in to the apartment about two weeks before. I had taken some stuff down when we had first moved in but didn't stay, like three of my roommates did, Ryan, Ted and Shawn. When I did finally move in I didn't have a thing to read or do, and was thinking that I should do something about that.

I still didn't have my license or car so I borrowed my roommates and went to the mall to check out the bookstore. I was glad to be back in a college town. Back home, everyone looked and acted young. In Ames, though, it seemed as if everyone was a grown up and it was just a fun place to be. I sauntered around the mall thinking that I should eat, but I decided to wait. It was only eleven in the morning, and breakfast at Hardee's didn't sound good. Besides, I figured that if I got something to read, I could start it as I ate.

I got to Waldenbooks, the place that would be my home soon, and started walking towards my standard section. Fantasy and Science Fiction. Just looking at the books is comforting. I like the way all of those book look and wanted many of them on my own shelves to comfort me the same way that they did here. I was just noticing some of the new titles when I noticed her.

My heart stopped, she was so beautiful. She had just stood up from behind the rack holding the DND items and magazines and had been hidden from my view. I assumed that she was also looking at the section and I thought Hey, might as well talk to her. Don't be intimidated by her looks!

I walked up and tried to see what she was doing first. I always hated to just try and start talking to someone. I always felt it was better to have something to say, rather than fumble around subjects. As I neared her, I noticed several things. She had on a Waldenbooks tag that said her name, Jennifer, on her blouse and she was straightening her gray full length skirt as I walked up to her. She had a stack of books in front of her, and was just starting to put some away on the shelves in the fantasy section as I walked up.

I froze! I didn't know what to say to this beauty! Why sound like an idiot if you don't have to? I just started looking at the books already on the shelves. Finally, something made me say something. Was it God? the fates? Her? that made me do it? I don't know. Whatever it was, I thank it profusely.

"Hi. That is a good book there," I said, nervously pointing to the book she was putting away.

"Oh, really? I haven't read that one yet." Yes, she likes fantasy! "Have you read a lot of these?"

Oh crap! A question! Don't sound like an idiot!

"Well, I mostly stick to the DND books but I have been reading some other books as well." You IDIOT! What if she doesn't like DND? What if you just turned her off because of that? Wait a minute. Whew! No ring, at least not that counted.

"Oh, I never got into those books. They looked interesting, though. Have you read this book?"

"I haven't read that book but I have read some other thing by that author. I don't know, wasn't impressed, really. Seemed too much forcing to get the action done in the book. Almost too much telling. I just started the 'Wheel of Time' series by Jordan. Have you read them?" Not too bad. Maybe some promise there.

"No. I have some of the books, but I haven't read them. Is it good?"

"Oh yes! He actually seems to be spoiling me with his epic style of writing. He writes very good and interweaves many elements very well." What they hell was that? You are not a book critic! Just stick to the basics. "Anyway, er, um, I like him. What have you been reading?"

She and I continued to talk about books. For several hours! She pretended to work, put away books and act as if she was helping me, and I talked. Probably bored her to tears. It was really close to two o'clock in the afternoon now, and I was really hungry. I finally decided that I had to try something or I would never get my nerve to do so.

"So, have you eaten?" Not bad. Nice generic question.

"No. Why, have you?"

"No. I was just thinking of getting a bite to eat. Do you want to get something to eat as well?" Oh shit! I actually said it!

"Er, um, okay. I just have to tell my boss. Just a sec, okay?"

"Okay." OMIGOD! SHE SAID YES! Now what do I do? How can my heart pound so fast?

"Are you ready? Did you want to buy that?" she asked, as she walked back up to me.

"Yeah, I was going to buy it."

"Well, let me get that for you and then we can go."

"Okay, sure."

She checked me out and then told Jeff that she was going to leave for her break. We walked down to Hardee's, and in doing so, started talking about movies.

"Have you seen anything good recently?"

"Oh, nothing special," I said. "Mostly just the same thing, really. I have wanted to see Men in Tights, though. Looked kinda good. A friend of mine talked about it while we went to Yellowstone, so and I thought it sounded good."

"Yeah, I have wanted to see that."

I had to stop to get my food. She sat down at a table as I ordered and came back. I was surprised about that, but found out that she had eaten, but hadn't taken a break and so could. I was thinking this was a good sign for me. God, I was so nervous. I had ordered a meal deal type of thing and as I sat down, I suddenly thought, what if I can't eat all of this? What if typical to me, I get all nervous and my stomach acts up? That *might* not impress her. Darn. What was I thinking?

"What were we talking about? Oh yeah, Robin Hood. You said you haven't seen it?"

"No. It looked good though, and I thought it would be fun to see. I was hoping my boyfriend and I could go to it."

*Gulp. Shit.* All at once, everything crashed around me. I am sure it showed on my face. I felt embarrassed and relieved. In a way, all of the pressure was off, but at the same time, dammit! I was hoping she was available! I wonder why she ate, actually she didn't eat, lunch with me.

"Oh, yeah. Looks good. I will have to find someone to go to it with." God! I was about to ask her out as she said that! Glad I didn't. That would have been awful. Man, now what do I do?

I put the meeting behind me. I had to, really. It was mostly foolish thoughts and I had them all of the time. I was always meeting a beautiful woman who gave me the time of day, and I couldn't get my mind off of them. Fortunately, classes had not really begun getting difficult, and so I had time to work on forgetting her.

Recently, I had two new things to do, not counting thinking about the wonderful new person that I had met. Computers and Net Trek. A friend in the next apartment had a computer and let me use it, nearly when I wanted to. I had a couple of IBM games, and so I had installed them and was playing them over there. Also, though, at this time I had arranged my classes so that they were blocked in four hours. I thought it would be easier this way, since I lived off campus. I started at 11 and went 'til 3.

I misjudged the bus schedule one day, and went to Durham to dink around on the computers. I was just getting some email and writing some. A friend of mine had moved to Washington to finish up school there, and so I thought I had better write him. I finished that and decided to Net Trek a little. It was early in the semester and . . . OH MY GOD!

There she was! Beautiful as ever. She had just walked in and probably not noticed me. I am not much to notice, so it didn't surprise me. What should I do? What was my move? There was an open terminal that she sat down on (YES!) and started working on it.

Oh man! I don't even know her user name! She sure as heck isn't going to guess mine or even recognize it. What do I do? Wait! Shawn had showed me a way to see all of the terminals in 139 Durham and who was logged on to them. If I use that I should see . . .

jeniferj

Right there on the screen. Now that I knew that, it should be easy, right? I decided to write her a quick znote to see if she remembered me and if she would respond. Also, she was sitting such that with a small move of my head, I could see her, but she might not be able to see me.

I wrote her a quick note, saying hi. I was so glad when she responded.

"Hi! How are you? Did you start that book yet?"

Whew! Thank Bob for computers! I could take some time to think about an answer and not have to worry too much about how scared I looked. I was also relieved that she had replied. I was really nervous that she wouldn't remember me.

"Oh, yeah. It is pretty good. But I always liked his books. What about you? What are you doing now?"

I waited, wondering if I was interrupting something like school work, or if she was also just checking email. I looked at her around the DEC station, to see what her expression was. She didn't seem to mind, but she is just typing, so I am not sure what she is thinking.

"Oh, not much. Just checking my email. Can't stay long."

"Yeah, me either. In fact, I need to leave now to catch my bus. Maybe I will talk to you later?"

"Sure. Email me sometime."

"Okay, bye."

I left hurriedly, hoping she didn't see me. I did need to catch a bus and barely made it. I had to learn the darn schedule.

When I arrived home, I pined a bit about her to the others. They said I should've done more, actually talk to her. I said, I couldn't. Too tough. Maybe the boyfriend thing was still ringing in my ears, I don't know. But I couldn't.

I had homework and decided that I should get some of that done. I wanted to actually try and stay ahead this semester, compared to how I had done before.

I went into my room and started studying. Ethan hadn't moved in by this point, so I had the room to myself, even though it was the largest room and the others were sharing. I couldn't get her out of my head, though. Not right away.

I don't think what I was doing was very good. I wasn't obsessing, I don't think. I just wanted to know more about her. Become friends. I was not good with that, though. How do you be a female's friend? They are obviously different, but I didn't have enough experience to do this.

Sigh.

Maybe I should just forget about those beautiful eyes, that wonderful smile. . . How?

I toyed with the idea of going to Waldenbooks. Maybe seeing if she was there. Since she worked last week at this time, she might be at work again. It was a chance . . . No! The books called me and I sat down to study, with little interruption.

A week passed and I hadn't forgotten about her. Who could? But, it was easier now that I hadn't seen her in a while. I had decided to get some more emails done and found myself in Durham again, when the Deja Vu hit.

God! She IS beautiful. I forgot how lovely. Stop it, I said to myself, trying to block it out. I went back to writing my emails, when a znote appeared on my screen.

"Hi! How are you? What is new? I have been working and studying. Story of my life, it seems. *sigh*"

Such a nice sigh, even if it was a computer generated word. I panicked, though. What did this mean? I mean, me talking to her was one thing, but now she was talking to me? What about the boyfriend? Come on! NO one is going to drop their boyfriend for me. What was I thinking? Maybe, though, I can find out some more things . . .

"Yeah, classes just started getting busy for me. I have a lot of reading to do. You?"

I paused, thinking about what I might do as I waited for the response. An idea was brewing in my head but I didn't know if I should act on it now or not.

"LOTS of reading to do. Too much, it seems. I don't know how I will get it all read!"

Hmmm. This might work but how will she react?

"I was just curious, what attracts you to men?"

"Where did that come from?" Oh, uh. Don't want to scare her off.

"Well, I am not good at meeting/talking to women. I was just wondering if you would tell me what you look for in a man."

"What I find attractive in a man isn't going to be the same thing as what other woman find attractive."

"I know. But, I need a base. If you don't want to, that is fine."

"No, I will answer. The question just took me a little off guard that is all. Actually, an email would be better. What if I email you?"

"Okay. I need to go anyway." I had to catch the bus or I would be stuck on campus for another hour.

"Okay. I will write you the answer to that question. Talk to ya later!"

"Bye."

I logged out and walked over to where she was sitting.

"Hi," I said squeakily. (Years later, I realized that this probably is what made me so attractive to her. She did like rats.)

"Oh!" she said, startled. "Where you in here?"

"Yeah, hiding in the corner. So, how is life?"

"Okay. Work is hell." She sighed and brushed her hair out of her face. "I have wanted to go see some movies, though, but no one wants to go with me."

"I like movies." Oh great, Jon. Subtle. "What did you want to see?"

"I really wanted to see the movie Philadelphia that is coming out soon."

"Yeah, that looked good. I like Tom Hanks. Didn't recognize anyone else in it though."

"Me neither."

"Do you know where it is playing?"

"Cinema 3, I think."

"We could go sometime, if you wanted to . . ." Shit! I crossed some line there, I just know it. But I *had* to ask her! But, what if she does say yes? Oh god! What did I do?

"Well . . . sure. How can we get there?" That hesitation should have told me to back off. I couldn't though.

"I can get my roommates car and we could go, if that sounds okay."

"Okay." She took out a piece of paper and wrote down her address and phone number. "Why don't you call me and tell me when is good for you?"

"Where is this? In Ames?"

"Yeah, I am living with a friend over by the hospital. It is pretty easy to find." She gave me directions on how to get there.

"Okay. Sounds good. I will see you then."

"Okay." She smiled at me as I walked away. I melted, then.

Sigh.

Life is good.

As I look back at the events that happened in 1994, I am amazed at what events I remember and what things are not so clear in my head. My classes were okay then, and I remember them somewhat vaguely. I also don't remember *everything* that happened with Jennifer (although she claims differently!) even though I really want to. I think that is because of the highs and lows that I went through.

My roommates really got sick with me at this time. I kept pining for her, yet doing nothing about it. I felt as if I couldn't. As has been said above, she was dating someone at the time that I met her. I really didn't know what to do. I had no experience with women before. I didn't know what to do, what to say or even how to act. I was pretty much faking it all and hoping that afterwards she would still be talking to me. I kept coming home after seeing her and just day dreaming about seeing her some more, yet dreading it. She seemed to like me, she would talk to me anytime she saw me, but she was dating someone. I had guilt trips on this issue. Should I pursue her? Should I just try to be a really good friend? What should I do?

My roommates also weren't much of a help. I felt that I should just be a good friend and if something happened, something happened. At least one of my roommates said to forget that and just go for it! The boyfriend isn't around so why not try? I sure didn't know what I should do on that issue. For the moment, I decided to just be the best friend I could be and see what happens.

This, of course, brings me to the highs and lows I was talking about. We would be cyclical in our own relationship that it was tough on me. I didn't know what I wanted but I did like her. I was trying to sort out all of these things and still try and see her. The situation with her boyfriend didn't help very much, either. Since it was a long distance relationship for her, she had periods where she didn't see her boyfriend for several months, if not more. Then, when they did see each other, it was for a month or so. Our friendship seemed to heat up and cool down based on this as well. I didn't hear from her when he was around and for a couple of weeks after he had left. When I did, though, it seemed to be a lot. I didn't question it, though, because I liked the time we spent together way too much to complain or think about it. All of this left me with rather low periods, which I probably wanted to forget, and high periods, which I cling to and would hold on to the belief, however small, that maybe I did stand a chance. Not the best way to approach it.

This brings me to Philadelphia. This was our first, hmm, well I can't call it a date. I am not sure I know yet what a date is. This was our first "outing" together in public away from the university. I was soooooo nervous. I can't begin to describe how nervous I was.

I am certainly not a keen dresser nor is my fashion sense up to par. I didn't really dress well then, and am probably just fooling myself about how I dress now. I wanted to look nice, though, (please notice me, please notice me, please notice me) when I saw her. If nothing else, who wants to go out with a slob.

With my attire chosen, I asked my roommate if I could borrow his car for the evening and he agreed. I didn't think he would say no, just because he knew how much this meant to me. I had directions on how to get to her place with me as I drove over to get her. The directions were not bad and pretty soon I found the place to which I was going. I parked the car as near as I could.

Then I froze.

It all started happening again. What should I do? What am I doing? How can I keep doing this? Is it just friendship for her? Am I just torturing myself? What about her? How does she feel about all of this? Is it fair to her? Could I really do this if it hurt her?

I had so many unknowns and questions running through my head. I really didn't know what to do. I was sitting in the car wondering this, when the front light went on and so I got out of the car. I knocked on the door and she answered it pretty quickly. I blushed slightly, having been "caught" and just sitting in the car.

"How are you?" she asked, smiling that smile that still makes me melt.

"Fine. Not sure about one of my classes but the rest are all good. You?"

"Okay. Busy. With work and school, I have a lot to do. This will be a nice break, though." She smiled at me as she said that last part. I felt confused all over again. Was this a signal? Was she trying to say something? If so, what should I do about it?

"Yeah, I have just been cooped up to long and needed to get out but not to campus. Well, we should probably get going if we want to make the early show."

"Okay. I'm ready."

We drove to the movie and went. The movie was good but the company was better. As we were there, at the movie, I thought that Jennifer was crying. I couldn't really tell for sure because I didn't know her that well. I didn't see any tears, but the sniffles kept getting more and more frequent. I might have been wrong, but I didn't really dwell on it. Afterwards, I took her back to her place.

"Well, thanks for the movie. It was really good. I wanted to see it, but couldn't really find anyone to go with me," she said as I parked the car.

"Thanks to you too. I wanted to see it as well, probably because of Tom Hanks, but none of my guys friends wanted to go. Thanks a lot." That's it dummy, say 'thanks' one more time.

"Well, I'm cold so I am going to go inside. <pause> Want to come in for some hot chocolate?"

"Sure!" And yet, gulp!

We went inside and she started making some hot chocolate. Her roommates were not here, either working or studying, so we were by ourselves. I really only vaguely remember this, because I was so nervous. I think I blabbered on for hours, or something like that. I would look around at her books on some shelves nearby and start talking about this book or what it made me think of. She really didn't talk much, which made me more nervous yet relieved me. I probably just kept talking so she couldn't get a word in edgewise and ask me to leave.

We spent several hours talking, or I did actually, before I felt the need to go home. I finally reached that point where it was comfortable but almost too comfortable and I didn't want to say anything that would ruin what we had. Whatever it was that we had. I said good bye and left, mulling over what I had done and if I looked too much like an idiot. I really didn't know. I don't even remember if I realized how little she talked and how much I did, I was so smitten with her and loved being with her, even if nothing would ever happen. It was just comforting, I guess. It was a woman who would talk to me and listen to me. This was all very new to me, and I for one was on cloud nine about the whole thing.

(I don't want you, the gentle reader, to think that any woman could have done this to me. I have known women, I just wasn't good at talking to them. Jennifer was special, though, in so many ways. I cannot totally explain it. She is the first woman I ever *wanted* to talk to and get to know, from that first day I saw her. I have never just talked to a woman like that since her. Probably because I didn't need to. She was the first woman that *I* had met on my own initiative. Not met because of work. Not met because she was a friend of a friend or a friend of a friend's girlfriend. Not because we were in the same class. I went out of my way to meet her and talk with her. That is what makes the relationship so special to me. I met her. I wasn't set up. I didn't meet her at some party we both went to. I walked up to her and started talking to her. Something that I have never done before.)

(Not bad, I don't think, getting it right on the first try!)

I got back, and my roommates saw it at once and groaned inwardly. They asked me how it went and I said that it went just fine. They knew that I was going to be miserable later when I started pining over Jennifer but they let me have my moment now and just said that was great. I didn't have to be up right away in the morning so I went to my room and thought about the evening. Over and over.

When I first moved into the apartment, I had the largest room even though the others were doubled up in their rooms. There were five of us at the time but we all got along, having the same interests, so it worked out. We were in a very dark and dismal place. Not because of our lack of cleaning, and we were pretty good at that actually. The place just did not get a lot of light and was dark most of the time. The carpets were dark, and in sad shape, and even the walls were a very, very off white by the time we moved in. Jennifer never came to see me here, which was fine with me, since I never liked the look of the place.

Anyway, about this time, in the Spring of '94, another friend moved in with us (and another guy had moved out) and he was with me in my room. We got along great. Every Saturday night we would go out to eat and usually complain about our situation with woman. I would be talking about Jennifer and he would be talking about various women that he knew, but were either unavailable or he just didn't want to say anything to them.

This usually culminated in a depression contest. We would come home, watch some movies, and then go to our room, where we would play the most depressing love songs that our music collection would allow and each claim that we won that contest. He had his collection of Billy Joel, Genesis, Phil Collins, Eagles. I had Debbie Gibson, Wilson Phillips, Eagles (we couldn't repeat a song, so we would have to play them first to count towards our score), Queen and some other very sappy, love songs. We would alternate in playing songs, and see who could outdo the other in playing a "rip your heart out" love song.

It was usually a tie.

Not the best way to spend our Saturday nights, I know. But, as I have said, Jennifer was really special to me. I didn't know many other woman, and I only wanted to date Jennifer. Not having much experience, I didn't know what to do and so I just fumbled through all of this as best as I could.

The next couple of months were not very fun for me, with regards to Jennifer. Although we spoke a couple of times, both over the phone and email, we didn't really manage to get together which was torture for me. I was still drinking at this time, sometimes heavily, and one night I called her after I had been drinking. Proverbial lead balloon. I didn't know why (nor would I for years) but that really turned her off, that I would call her when I had been drinking. From my perspective, it was the only way that I could work up the courage to talk to her. The only problem with doing it this way is that it is false courage, and didn't help me the next time I talked to her. She was not happy with me when I did this. I took that as a bad blow and couldn't have timed it worse than when I did.

This had happened near the middle of the Spring semester. She didn't really talk to me after that, for a long time. Again, my timing was very poor. We both got busy with school and neither of us had time to do anything together before Spring Break. This was bad. I would not find out why until later. Over the break, of course, she saw her boyfriend. For several weeks, even though our break was only a week. [I am not sure if I should talk about how that makes me feel. Do I stay in the past and talk as the event unfolded? Or do I interject with my knowledge of the future event? Readers? What do you think?] Then, it took a while for her to talk to me or to make any plans with me. At the time I didn't know why or what had happened, so I was pretty shaken and feeling sad.

All I knew is that for a while after Spring Break, I didn't see her or talk to her. She seemed to have vanished. That really bothered my roommates as well as me, but mostly because of how I acted. I usually thought of her a lot and got depressed when I did. I tried a couple of times to see her or talk to her, but it was always brief on her part and with very little enthusiasm. Jennifer was not pushing me away, but there was a distance between us at this point.

Jennifer and I had both thought she was older than me. She was graduating this semester and was trying to decide what to do. I found out that she had decided to go to London for the summer and do this via school, so she wouldn't technically graduate until August, but she was done with school. I never really found out if she was happy or not with what she was doing. That would come later.

As the semester wound down, we started talking again, albeit still not very much. She seemed to have other things on her mind in May, which did depress me slightly, since that was the month my birthday is in. I rarely saw or talked to her in May, which was depressing. I did find out her birthday, though, and since it was over the summer and she would be in Ames at that time, I thought I might try and do something with her then.

I was home over the summer working for my father again. I had worked for him for several years, and was getting lazy about it. Rather than find a job related to what I was going to do, I kept coming home and working for him. Yet . . . funny how things have a way of working out.

Jennifer had been back for a little while from England. She had gone for three weeks or so in June and had just finished the paper she needed to write to graduate. We had started talking again, on the phone (I was in Mason City at this time.) and she was actually talking to me! Not only were we talking, but she was really excited about her trip to London and would talk and talk about it. It was really fun hearing her talk rather than just me. I knew something had changed, or maybe I wanted it to, but this was very nice. We seemed to be "moving to a new level," whatever that meant, because she was now talking to me rather than just listening. I thought that maybe there was a chance . . .

Subtle, or as subtle as I could (read: Not very), I asked about her boyfriend. Yep, they were still dating. At the same time, she was very talkative to me and we were getting along very well now. She said that she had taken a lot of great pictures while over there and I should see them sometime. She didn't know when, though, because she was moving to St. Paul to work.

Damn.

Now we weren't going to be in the same city anymore, and she wouldn't have email so we could only talk via snail mail. I am horrible at snail mail. I just don't write very often and I felt that this was the end of the relationship. I wanted to make the best of it, and asked if there was any way I could see the photos before she moved up to St. Paul.

"Well . . . I am supposed to go to a family reunion in Charles City soon. I don't want to go though. I really don't get along with my family, especially not my dad's side. That is who is meeting in Charles City. If you wanted, though, we could probably arrange something."

"What did you have in mind?" I asked, tentatively.

"My grandma from Texas is coming up with some of her family. When I talked to her and told her that I wasn't going because I didn't have a ride up there, she said that she could probably take me back, if I could find a ride up there. I talked to my friend that went to London with me, and she is willing to take me up there, but all the way to Charles City would be out of her way. If you wouldn't mind taking me to the reunion, I could show you the pictures before it and then my grandma could bring me back to Ames."

"Sounds good to me. When?"

"Next weekend. That isn't too short of notice, is it?"

"No. I don't have anything planned." Now. And if I do, I just canceled it.

"Great! I will see you then."

"Yeah. I will talk to you later."

I should point out at this time that pretty much everyone in my family knew about Jennifer. Since I was living at home, and would take up the phone for hours when I called her or she called me, they knew I was talking to this girl. I would pine about Jennifer to my parents, but only in a roundabout way. Mom would try to help, and definitely did, by suggesting gifts or that I find out what Jennifer would like, if I didn't know. I probably wasn't too subtle in my attempts to find out and, with Mom's help, did manage to find some things that I thought were pretty nice.

After the phone call with Jennifer, Mom wanted to know what was happening and if I was going to see her. I told her that I might see her in a couple of weeks, and that I was taking her to a reunion in Charles City. Mom thought that was great, she would get to meet her. I didn't think much of that.

My parents are great! Really. We also get along very well, really. Probably from living home as much as I did and having to. Anyway, my friends who would come over seemed to agree as well that my parents' were cool and so I never thought much Jennifer meeting them.

I think I drove my parents as nuts as my roommates in college, though, for all of the pining I did for Jennifer.

The two weeks did not pass very quickly at all. Dragged on, in fact. Didn't help my mood, but my mood did lighten up since Jennifer was coming to see me. We hadn't talked in this time except to figure out our plans of when and where we were going to meet. Her friend was going to drop her off in Clear Lake and I would pick her up there. Not a problem.

I got to the Perkins, where we were to meet, really early. I always carried a book with me and thought it would be neat to read on this large rock that they had in their yard. I probably looked really stupid. As Jennifer and her friend drove up, here I am sitting on this rock reading a book. *sigh* Good thing I didn't think about it too much at that time.

"Hi."

"Hello! How are you?"

"Fine. Got a book so I will be okay." What did that mean?

"This is my friend Laura. She is the one who when with me to England."

"Hi. Nice to meet you. Are you staying?"

"No, I have to get going." Turning to Jennifer, Laura said, "Have fun." She smiled as she said it and walked back to her car. At the time, I thought she was going on to the Twin Cities to see some family and she didn't want to be late.

"Well, might as well go to my place. There is my car over there." Please, God, let me use 'there' in a sentence *three* times.

We got into the car and started driving to Mason City from Clear Lake.

"How was it?" I asked.

"It was awesome, awesome, awesome! I want to live there. Everything was so beautiful and wonderful and it was soooo much fun. I really loved York. Oh, Jon, you just have to go over there sometime. Maybe I can take you and show you what I saw, which was really cool. I can, well, let's just wait until we get back to your place before I pull out the pictures. I saw Phantom over there. AWESOME! I can die now. It was great! And I saw some Shakespeare as well. We walked everywhere, it was soooo much fun." After all of this, she decided she needed a breath and finally took one.

"So, did you like it?" I asked, with a smile on my face.

"YES! It was just great. It was soooo much fun. I like learning all about new cultures and people and it was so nice over there. And the food. They don't do very well with the main dishes but the desserts. Oooooooh. Very, very nice."

"Mom will appreciate that. She usually orders dessert first and if it is good, then she will eat the main course."

"Does she really?" she asked, looking at me curiously.

"Well, no not really. But many times the places we go are dictated more by their dessert menu, than by their main course menu. Not that I find that a bad thing, really, but I should lay off of the treats, really."

We got to my house and went inside. No one was home, so we sat in the Family Room and she proceeded to tell me all about London and the many pictures she had taken. It took a long time and she kept talking about how she would love to live there. I kept panicking, slightly, at this because if she did live there, what would I do? Could we do anything then? Maybe all of this was just a pipe dream.

She had just finished talking about London when my mom came home. After she came in, I introduced them.

"Mom, this is Jennifer. Jennifer this is my mom, Rita."

"Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you, Jennifer. So, how was the trip that I have heard so much about?"

"It was wonderful! I just finished telling Jon all about it. I will have to show you all of the pictures that I have."

"What time is the family reunion that you are going to?" I asked.

"Well, it started at about one, but I said I wouldn't be there before two or two-thirty."

"We had better go if you want to even make it by then. Sorry, Mom."

"Okay. I will show you the pictures some other time, Rita." A bit of a whine to it, more so because of what was to come, as I found out.

"Bye mom, I will be back in an hour or a little more, okay?"

"Bye. Bye, Jennifer."

"Bye. Maybe I will see you again sometime." Really? Cool! Don't get too excited. That could mean anything.

We got into the car and left for Charles City.

We almost didn't make it to the reunion.

The day was very clear, being late June and the weather was wonderful. I had been to Charles City only a couple of times, and that was before I could even drive. I hadn't been there for a while, but Jennifer had said she had directions on how to get where we were going. I drove and we chatted about this and that on the way to Charles City.

When we got to Charles City, finding the right park was no problem. We started driving around, looking at the sites to see if Jennifer recognized anyone. She didn't. The road we were on eventually led right up to a river, and so we backed up and went to recheck the sites. Again, she recognized no one.

"Are you sure we are at the right place?" I asked.

"I don't know! I am not sure, not having been here before."

"Well, maybe we could ask someone where this is. Do you know what name the place is saved under?"

"No, but I could guess if I saw it. Let's try back towards the river."

"Okay."

I drove us to the river and when we took a closer look, we saw that you were *supposed* to drive over a concrete slab in the water to get to the other side. I cautiously did so, but was surprised that that was how it was set up. If I had ever been here, I certainly didn't remember this. We drove past two more sites before she recognized her family. We got there just in time to see the fight.

Now, I don't consider myself a very judgmental person. Even then, when I was younger (so much younger! :-) ) I tried not to judge someone else. As we pulled up and got out of the car, we could here several of the kids yelling at each other.

"THAT'S MINE! HE TOOK IT! MAKE HIM GIVE IT BACK!"

"Now, now. He is younger you. You can share with him, can't you?"

"NO! IT IS MINE! I BROUGHT IT ALONG TO PLAY WITH IT AND HE TOOK IT!"

"Fine. He will give it back and you can play with it."

The item in question, I don't remember what it was, was given back and the boy stopped crying and shouting. All through this, Jennifer just watched in disgust. When it was done, she sighed and we moved to where her Grandma was sitting.

"I knew there was a reason I didn't want to come to this," she said as we walked up.

"It can't be that bad," I said. "Heck, that was probably me at some reunion, long ago."

"I am glad I didn't know you then!" she said teasingly.

"Thanks." I smiled ruefully, and then we were up to the table.

Meeting her family, especially her grandma whom she claimed, was a real treat. As I have said, I didn't know that much about Jennifer, especially her past. I was always the one who ended up talking and then she never said very much. I was thrilled to see her talk about some of her family and find out about her while we were there.

There is not very much worth mentioning at the reunion. Two things stand out in my mind. Remember that Jennifer had a boyfriend at this time? Well, there were a couple of times that I was mistaken for him. Not by name, but by the fact that I was there with her. At the same time that she corrected anyone who made that mistake, she was not necessarily quick to say where her boyfriend was. I thought that might be a good sign and felt pretty good about that.

The other event was how Jennifer got back to Ames that day. We had been there at the reunion talking to her relatives for about an hour. After that, we walked around the park a little and talked some more, about what we were doing and where are lives were going. While we were out for a walk, the shouting and fighting occurred a couple more times and she cringed every time. Apparently, this was the family that was going to take her back to Ames and she was dreading the ride home. We were just heading back to the area where the family was, when another shouting match started. She clung to my arm really tightly.

"Please don't leave me here with them."

"What's the matter? Don't you like your family? Your grandmother?" I asked.

"Yes I like Charlotte, but not the rest of them. I don't want to go back with them. Maybe I can catch the bus from Mason City back to Ames. Do you know where the bus station is?"

"Yes I do. I can take you there, I guess . . . " Again, a plan formed in my head, but I wasn't sure if I could act on it or not. "Do you want to say good bye to anyone before we leave, then?"

"Well, just Charlotte. Let's go, quickly, before you change your mind and leave me here."

We walked back to the park shelter and Jennifer went to her grandma.

"Bye Charlotte. Jon is going to give me a ride to Mason City and I will catch the bus back home."

"Oh?" said Charlotte, a bit crestfallen. "Well, I was hoping to talk more, but okay. You take care of yourself."

They hugged a big hug and both were obviously sorry that they wouldn't see each other longer this time. Charlotte then turned to me and gave me a hug as well, which I returned as best as I could.

"You take care of Jenny, okay?" Jennifer grimaced at the nickname. Only her family could call her that because she couldn't change them and she didn't want me to start calling her Jenny.

"I will," I said.

"Well," Jennifer said, "we had better get going. Bye."

She said good-bye to a couple more people and then we walked back to my car. As we got in, she turned towards me.

"You know, you are stuck with me for a couple more hours if we go. Are you sure?" Hell yes! I would love to be stuck with you!

"Yeah, I am sure. Looks like I am saving you from a fate worse than death, so I am glad to help out."

"Thanks a lot!"

"My pleasure. Besides, we can continue our conversation this way."

We got in the car and I drove us back to Mason City.

When we got back to Mason, my mom was still home.

"Back already? How was the family reunion?"

"Very interesting," I said, before Jennifer could say anything.

"It was okay. I got to see my grandma, so that is good."

"Are you going to the civil war thing, then?" mom asked.

"Oh, yeah. That is today, isn't it?" I looked at Jennifer. "Want to go? It is a civil war reenactment that is being done down at East Park. It is supposed to be pretty good."

"Sure, I don't have anything else to do."

"Okay. Are you going to go, mom?"

"No, I don't think so. Too much noise. Have fun."

"Okay. See you later, then."

I drove us to East Park and we walked to where the reenactment was going to be done. It was really good. They had the tents set up, a camp for both side, and also some aspects of the social life of the times then. You could also eat generally the same food that the soldiers ate. There was also some arts and crafts set up for people to look at and maybe buy something. We barely had time to look at it all before the reenactment started.

I hope she liked it. I did. It was done very well. And it was very noisy! They had two or three cannons, plus all of the muskets of each side. We finished watching it and then went back to the car.

"That was a very dumb way to fight," I said.

"Yes, well it was what they did back then."

"No it wasn't! They didn't fight that way during the Revolutionary War, just the Civil War. It was as if we suddenly had to prove that we could fight they way our enemies had, yet do better. Just a dumb way to fight."

"Yes, it was not the best way to fight. Well, you had better take me to the bus station, since we don't know what time the buses leave."

"There is no need for that. I can take you back to Ames." What the heck am I doing? This is getting ridiculous, even for me! Here I am, offering to give Jennifer a ride back to Ames, knowing that she is going to move to St. Paul to work and that I will probably never see her again. This is nuts!

"You will!!!?! Okay! Thank you. Thank you. Thank you." She looked at me with such grateful eyes and for a moment I thought maybe something else. It passed then but I still remember it very well.

"Sure I will. We should get going, then, if I need to get you all the way down to Ames and back today."

"Okay. I left some stuff back at your house that we should go get."

"Okay."

I drove us back and we continued to talk about the Civil War and the dumb policies they had. When we got back home, both my parents were there.

"Hi, dad. Dad, this is Jennifer. Jennifer, this is my father, Al Goranson."

"Pleased to meet you."

"Pleased to meet you, Jennifer."

"She needs a ride back to Ames, so I am going to take her. I will be back tonight sometime."

"Okay. Did you want to go to church tomorrow?"

"Um, er, I let you know later, okay? Depends how late I get back." Ooops. I hope that doesn't offend her. We haven't really talked about religion. This is nuts! I have to agree with her on everything? I am really, really caught here.

"Okay. Drive safely then."

"I will. Did you get everything?"

"Yes and I am all ready to go."

"Okay, let's get going then."

The drive to Ames was pretty much uneventful. We talked some more and this time we actually had things to talk about, so it was nearly equal in who talked. Actually, that is not true. I still talked a lot. I don't know why. I guess I felt the need to fill the silence. That was strange, though, because the silence never felt uncomfortable.

"You are not going to leave right away, are you?" What is this? What does she mean? I might get to spend more time with her?

"Well, I was thinking of that. Why? What did you have in mind?"

"I want to thank you for this. It has been a really nice day. What if I take you out to eat to show you my gratitude?"

"Okay, that would be fine. Where did you want to go out to eat?"

"Have you ever been to Pizza Kitchen before?"

"No. Is it any good? Where is it?"

"It is over on the street in near the Friley arch."

"Oh, okay, I think I know what you are talking about. Sure. We can go there."

As we drove over there, we passed two theaters, one of which was playing the movie "Wolf".

"Have you seen that movie?" she asked me.

"No. I am not sure if I want to. I mean, the main actors are really cool and all, but the story looks just like any other. The whole thing is based on who is in it, it seems, rather than any story line or doing something original."

"Well, that is partially the point. It does have some big names."

"Yeah, I guess. I haven't seen Nicholson in anything, really, but I do like Pfeiffer. Why? Did you want to see it?"

"Well, kinda. I just haven't had the time."

"We could eat and then go see the movie, you know."

"No we can't! It would be way to late for you to go home then."

"Well, if we went and saw it first, like right now, we could still eat then. Unless you are too hungry to wait for a movie to be done." What am I doing? Why do I prolong this torture? She is still dating someone and even moving closer to where he lives! Is that intentional, I wonder?

"No, I am not that hungry, really." Cool! "We could go to the movie and then eat. Do you want to?"

"Sure. Sounds like fun. I never turn down seeing a new movie."

So we did that. The movie was much better than I thought it was going to be. Perhaps it was the company, but it was a good movie. Afterwards we ate. I was really nervous about that. Mostly because I knew I was a sloppy eater, so I had to be on my best behavior. We talked through it and I really enjoyed the time. I was coming to see Jennifer as a friend, even if I still wanted to date her. We did have a lot in common and since she didn't mind it when I babbled at her, I figured it was okay. Afterwards, I took her home and we said good bye. I figured this would be the last time I saw her.

Was I wrong!

I was back down in Ames the very next week. It was her birthday, and I had wanted to take her out and do something really nice for her. I am not good at getting presents for people, though, so I thought I would take her to a nice restaurant in Ames.

We agreed to go out to Aunt Maude's. It is a really nice restaurant. I had come back because it was her birthday in a week, and this was the only weekend that she had free that I could come and see her. I had even dressed nicely for this and was wearing a nice shirt and pants. She had dressed up as well, wearing a very nice dress. We got to Aunt Maude's and no one was really there, so we were quickly seated and started looking over the menus.

I had not been here for years. We had had a birthday party, my family, when my brother and sister were going to Ames, but that was years ago. I was looking at the menu and wondering what I should order to eat. Jennifer had been here fairly recently, I think with her boyfriend, and knew what she wanted.

"What are you having?" I asked, as she closed her menu and waited.

"The pasta. It is sooo good!"

"Oh, do you have any suggestions for me?" I asked.

Now, I must explain something. The menus are very nice, four page menus, in a cover which is laminated thick cardboard. The menus themselves are also laminated. As I was sitting there, I was holding this rather large menu, probably a foot and a half long, over the table and into my lap, to read it easier.

As I asked Jennifer if anything was good, she started to say something and to point at my menu. She missed. She perfectly hit my water glass, though, which proceeded to fall onto the top of the menu. With the perfect lamination of the menu and covering, the water made a straight bee line down towards my lap. I am here to say it was cold water.

Jennifer was all apologetic, of course, and was embarrassed by the whole situation. I didn't think it was that bad, and I needed cooling off at that point anyway. I think the only reason Jennifer doesn't like this event is because I still remind of her of it once in a while.

When we finished with the movie, it was pretty late for me to go home. I really wanted to, because there was only one place I could stay and that would have been too much for me. Jennifer insisted, though, because I wouldn't have started for Mason City until nearly eleven o'clock that night and it was pretty late. Fortunately, in case something like this happened, I had packed an overnight bag and a book as was prepared for this.